Road Grass Bites A$$

Grass Clippings VS Motorcyclists

Grass clippings can be a hazard for motorcyclists

Well, folks, here we are again, caught where the wool is short.

Today’s subject is slightly slippery, with a side of minced salami straight off the seat-of-shame; the fanny! Any ole experienced rider knows of that one dark-force agent of the winter—BLACK ICE; heck, every motorized vehicle operator knows about that stuff… We know, and that’s why today we are here to consider and examine his atrocious fifth cousin— (bumbumbum) GREEN ICE. That’s right - grass clippings scattered on the blacktop, as it were.

As per usual, this spring and summer season, we have spent many hours on the roadways (especially those of the “back” sort), and we have noticed, perhaps due to stimulated consciousness being out in Nature and all, a particular spike in “road grass” offences. (We also, especially throughout the pandemic situation, have witnessed a particular spike in entry-level riding; people are getting their social distancing on FORREAL by way of two wheels; and we love it). However, we don’t love the fact that when you mix the two up, beginner/inexperienced riders and a sudden patch of blind road grass, you wind up in a pinch, pucker, or, (if you are really into seeking sudden series of unfortunate events), you crash out and “till the dirt” with your goose-berry grinder (and that pun was most certainly intended)!

You've seen on the TV shows, you've read it in the papers; it's time for that 180!

It’s easy to get to thinking about them there folk, the ones that sling that greasy green lube (imagine dew-wet grass; blind curve; country twolane; sparkling green ice) all in the roads; it's simple to think, ‘why, that fella there must not know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt’ or that ‘maybe they’re about as sharp as mashed potatoes’, or maybe that ‘they couldn’t catch their breath what if it didn’t come natural’, or possibly that ‘they must be just as crooked as a hound's leg and twice’t as dirty’, or maybe even ‘so danged worthless that the TIDE wouldn’t even take them out’; but regardless of our emotional reflexes, we, as riders, must understand one thing out the gate: SOME FOLKS JUST DON'T KNOW (and also, every garden has its weeds…). So, in all honesty, is it even worth the spit it’d take to cuss ‘em out? Let’s get down to the green of things….

Grass=ass=Ive had fun before, and this sure ain’t it. That rider is liable to get up madder than an ole grizzly bear with a sore arse! (And believe us, his arse will be sore, if it’s able to get up at all).

180 Degrees, thats the answer. Just turn it around!

Does grass (of the road-scattered sort, of course) offend us? Why, does a cat come equipped with climbing gear? Hell yes!! This hazardous waste, slicker than that scandalous banana peel, ‘green ice’ infringes upon us and our freedoms.

Come on slick, it ain’t very becoming and thrice as rude, especially if you take in the wastefulness of gobstoppin the roadways with clippings instead of putting them to good use elsewhere. Best to learn the little rhyme “A bit of hasty waste might turn a good bum to paste…” if you’re not into bums of the pasty variety.

Well...you get the picture

Grass clippings and other lawn debris are a major safety threat to motorcyclists with a potentially deadly effect; conversely, when salvaged and utilized, that grass can be badass.

The Facts Are:

• Grass clippings, when spread across a roadway, create a mighty slippery surface (“green ice”, it has been dubbed), especially if wet in the least (mornin’ dew, recent rain, sprinkler-treated, etc).

• In many a municipality it is downright illegal to sling grass in the roadways (and we two-wheelers thought we were the rebels!)

• Grass has 85% water content which is where its slippery nature hails from (and even when it is dry, it's still slippery) - the loss of traction is therefore compounded.

• It’s already bad enough that we have to contend with ole Mother Nature in the fall, when our gorgeous forests unblouse themselves of their leafy coverage (those orange and red blazes are pleasant on the peepers, but can play hell on your two-wheeled machine’s rubbers). We can't change the diehard habits of the trees, now can we?

• *********It is easy for motorcyclists, notably in the spring and summer riding months, to become somewhat complacent; sort of dormant in their caution and awareness due to the elation of the ride.

• Grass clippings in the roadway, even when they are anticipated by a skilled rider, are still dangerous. They can cause the rider to have to make a serious safety maneuver in order to avoid it. It can cause reactions in any rider such as fast speed reduction, sudden lane changes, or double yellow crossings (among many others - all of which may be considered “high risk/hazard” for the cyclist and want to be avoided like the covid or the monkey pocks.)

• A lil extra fun fact: (especially for all you fishermen(women) out there— yard clippings are also anti-environmentally friendly for our waterways. This is because they consist of mostly water and nitrogen; a mass accumulation of grass clippings in local waterways can alter pH and O2 levels as well as lead to algae blooms (which may kill off aquatic life as well as damage aesthetic pleasures).

Some positive sunshine and rainbows requested??? - Grass clippings are actually beneficial to your lawn despite being a bushel o’ bad for the waters and roadways.

It's considered recycling: keep our water and roadways clear of yard debris!

The nitrogen that is such a devilish dickens to the H20 and asphalt actually becomes a great fertilizing source for lawns in addition to the other inherent compounds found in decomposing grass. They can also be great in your garden compost (in appropriate doses, of course) and grande in areas that need a sprinkle of mulch. Easy enough.

Regardless of the argument as to whether the rider ought to have enough skill to avoid road grass accidents or if the mower needs to turn it’s gr’ass around, the fact remains: the ‘’green ice’. and its debris henchmen can cause some serious two-wheel carnage...and not the laying rubber, burning fuel, good time having kind of carnage neither.

If the strip of yard’s big enough, why that green slick sometimes looks as if it's hell bound and determined to cause a month's worth’a buryin.

If a rider does happen to come out of a “green ice” curve, you bet your sweet biscuits they’ll feel so blessed they could step right square in manure and come out smelling like a rose!

Yes, there will be quite a few “skilled riders” who’ll take offense to these assertions, claiming “it is all in the skill level”; however, that is quite the “umbrella statement”, as everything is situational.

The fact does remain, that it is upon us, the riders, to step up and make the common folk aware of the damages that can be procured by slinging that slime out into the roads that save so many souls by way of two-wheeled freedom.

Again, clipping to the inside can be beneficial, not only for motorcycle travelers, but to your yard itself! It’s the perfect time to do a 180.

As for the scattered grass blades, we’re just saying, if you got a rooster, he’s goin to crow.

The time has come to “turn it around.”

Road Grass Bites Ass— will YOU join the movement?

By: Two Concerned Enthusiasts

If your machine does end up with some minor scratches, you know who to contact for general motorcycle surface upkeep and attempted minor scratch removal.

Head over to the website today for HUGE discounts!

If you enjoy what you've read here, please share this article with your riding pals, your friends and family, heck, anyone you know owns a lawn for that matter.

Be sure to keep up with your local legislation for changes and updates!

The Concerned Bikers of America put out some awesome information, so be sure to check them out often; we even highly suggest becoming a member, as the benefits are great not to mention the things it accomplishes for ALL motorcyclists!

Keep two (or at least one) down out there fellow friends and riders!